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Has intelligence always been the most important trait you seek in a partner irrespective of their appearance?
Do you get mesmerized by someone with a unique talent like poetry? Are you sexually attracted to people you have debates with?
If your answer to these questions is yes or something close to it, you may be sapiosexual.
The word sapiosexual was derived from two Latin words, 'sapiens' and 'sexualis' which mean 'wise' and 'sexual' respectively.
Sapiosexuality means to be sexually attracted to highly intelligent people to the extent that it becomes the first quality you seek in a prospective partner. In fact, you get turned on by it!
According to Merriam-Webster, its first reported usage was in 2004. Others say it was first used by Wolfieboy, a LiveJournal user in 1998. It became more popular in 2014, when OkCupid, an online dating site allowed users to choose sapiosexual as their sexual orientation.
And people are starting to embrace sapiosexuality as a sexual orientation in different parts of the world. Even popular Nigerian celebrities like Kate Henshaw identify as sapiosexual.
Anyone can be sapiosexual. They can be straight, gay, asexual, bisexual or any other sexual orientation.
Sapiosexuals aren't restricted to a particular gender. They may be attracted to straight, trans, bi or gay people. Their partner's gender or sexual orientation may not matter to them.
A sapiosexual person would look past external features like body shape, size, beauty, race, accent, etc and focus solely on their partner's intellectual skills.
PS: Liking smart people doesn't make you sapiosexual. One research conducted by a team of Australian scientists showed that most people found intelligence attractive, but only a few considered extreme intelligence attractive.
Sapiosexuals feel no like, crush, lust or any form of sexual attraction towards a person until their brain identifies outstanding intellectual prowess in them.
Some people argue that sapiosexuality is not a real thing. Some say it shouldn't be considered a sexual orientation but a type of attraction. While others complain that it is discriminatory and ableist towards people with learning disabilities. They argue that it places too much value on Western education and IQ, ignoring other forms of intelligence.
Some argue that most people find intelligence attractive in their partners so sapiosexuality is invalid.
1. You always pick intelligence over looks in a partner
What's your spec? Dark, tall, muscular guys? Or slim curvy ladies?
For sapiosexuals, all of that doesn't matter. They don't care if their partner is brief, tall, slim or plus-sized. As long as they tick the intelligence box, they are good to go.
2. You need an intellectual conversation before you get aroused
Sapiosexuals hardly think of sex without engaging in intellectual conversations. When they're on a date, rather than discuss the usual first date topics, sapiosexuals prefer to talk about politics, books or science.
3. You prefer your date nights in a library or a cozy bookstore
Rather than hang out in an expensive restaurant or at the cinemas, they'd prefer academic places like a library, a bookstore, a museum or an art gallery. They love places that will encourage deep intellectual conversations.
4. You find PhDs sexy.
If you've ever had a crush on one of your professors because of their numerous qualifications then you may be sapiosexual. Sapiosexuals are attracted to people who have attained high academic heights.
5. You believe 'smart' is the nicest compliment
If the only compliment that makes you flush is 'smart' then you may be sapiosexual. Most of them prefer compliments like 'intelligent', 'smart' or 'genius' to regular compliments like 'good-looking' or 'hot'.
Sapiosexuals and demisexuals have one thing in common: they are not sexually attracted to people based on their external features.
However, sapiosexuality is based on intellect, demisexuality is based on emotional attraction. A demisexual person will not have any sexual attraction to a person unless they feel emotionally attached to them. While a sapiosexual person will only have sex with people they find intellectual.
People evolve every single day and as we do, we come up with new terms to express ourselves and our desires.
But one thing is sure: only you can define who you are and who you are attracted to. And if you feel the word sapiosexual defines your sexuality, use it! Let no one dictate your identity for you because they could never know you better than you know yourself!
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